Signage and body language

from Around the World

That twist in translation, misused grammar, or context,
can make for hilarious reading!

 

Signs recorded in England!
 

SIGNS around the world can be the cause of a good laugh. Usually signs in India and Nepal come to mind. How about the following!

 

1. IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

 

2. ON A CHURCH DOOR:: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

 

3. OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

 

4. QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

 

5. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

 

6. NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

 

7. SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order.  Please use floor below.

 

 

 

Signs From Worldwide Hotels and Campsites

 

TOKYO HOTEL: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

 

BUCHAREST HOTEL: The lift is being fixed for the next day.During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

 

LEIPZIG ELEVATOR: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

 

BELGRADE ELEVATOR: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number wishing floor. Driving then going alphabetically by national order.

 

PARIS ELEVATOR: Please leave your values at the front desk.

 

ATHENS HOTEL: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 0900hrs and 1100hrs daily.

 

YUGOSLAVIAN HOTEL: The fattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

 

JAPANESE HOTEL: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

 

MOSCOW HOTEL: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

 

SWISS MENU: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

 

AUSTRIAN SKI LODGE: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

 

POLISH MENU: Salad a firms’ own make; limpid red beet soup with chessy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.

 

HONG KONG TAILOR SHOP: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

 

RHODOS TAILOR SHOP: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

 

GERMAN CAMPING SITE: It is strickly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

 

HONG KONG ADD: Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.

 

ROME LAUNDRY: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

 

SWISS MOUNTAIN INN: Special today - no ice cream.

 

COPENHAGEN AIRLINE: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

 

MOSCOW HOTEL: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

 

TOKYO CAR RENTAL FIRM: When passengers of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour.

 

Some road signs recently observed whilst driving in India

 

 

 
Human body language and hand signs can be interesting! Making yourself understood abroad can sometimes play out like an embarrassing game of charades. What may seem like an innocent gesture here could have a completely different -- and possibly obscene -- meaning in another country. To help you avoid offending anyone, here are a few gestures to steer clear of.